Travelling: The Day I Said Goodbye.

After years of procrastinating, months of saving and dozens of sleepless nights, the time had finally come to leave Aberdeen. For how long? I didn't know. All I knew is that I wanted it so badly. Despite their differences, my family had gathered – Mum, Dad, both Grandmas and Grandad - but I had made...

How ADHD affects me at: Home.

Having ADHD is like having 15 computer tabs open at once. My brain isn’t particularly focused on any one tab, but I am constantly labouring through shutting them all down. At its worst, my focus and thoughts are fragmented with incessant mind chatter, which can make dealing with ordinary, everyday things difficult. If new tabs are added when I’m not dealing...

Gambling & Mental Health: Part 1.

On a cold, rainy morning in Edinburgh, I sat feeling numb in an overly bright waiting room of my local GP, not entirely sure what I was going to say or if I even cared enough to fully disclose my true feelings. I guess I felt down? Flat? Not myself? It was hard to pinpoint...

Gambling & Childhood: A Timeline.

“I worry for the next generation” was the quote and headline used, when I was interviewed for an article for The BBC. A year and a half later, I can’t say I’m any less concerned. I once attended Youth Work training, which centred on Social Media, Apps and Technology. I sauntered in, pulled up a...

Alcohol and Gambling: a pint before a punt?

The average person who doesn’t gamble, may think that you’d surely have to be blackout drunk to gamble excessively; or be riding high on whatever your recreational drug of choice is. Gambling is generally painted in an alluring way in mainstream film and media - a heady world of casinos and sporting events; drugs; sex,...

Gambling Debt and The ‘Fear’.

When I think back to the year or two before I finally managed to get on top of my gambling addiction, I’m astonished that I didn’t find myself in debt. During this period, I was auto-piloting my way through life and hanging on mentally by a very fine thread. I was doing a good job...

Lessons Learned From a Dead End Career in Hospitality – Part 1 – ‘The Pantry’.

    I'd go on to associate 3am on a Sunday morning with stumbling home drunk from town: eighty quid down, my trainers scuffed to bits and guided by streams of piss and the stench of Joop Aftershave to the nearest 24 hour bakery. Before those bleary years, there was a time that I'd be...

Gambling Triggers.

Triggers}} Having awareness about what may potentially trigger a gambling relapse is one thing, but what about the unexpected curve balls that life sometimes throws your way? I'm using this picture of a children's claw machine as a prime example of something seemingly ordinary and harmless, yet something that can really set you back in...

A Troubling Day.

A Troubling Day}} Occasionally, I will walk from the West End of Edinburgh; (where I live now) to the East End (where I used to live) to see what's new; what's gone; and what's still there. Thankfully, the amazing Sicilian Bakery is still going strong. The best bakery in Edinburgh in my opinion. My walk...

The Great Outdoors.

The Great Outdoors}} My reality is this: if I don't make it outside within an hour or two after waking up, it often becomes problematic. I can get increasingly anxious and agitated, and will lose myself in hours of procrastination. The only way around this is to leave the house. It's that straightforward. When I...